Can you set financial boundaries and still be generous?
Lina earns a good salary. She is able to invest, meet her obligations, give to causes close to her heart, and use the balance to treat herself. Lina has been best friends with Nancy since they graduated from university ten years ago. They have shared each other’s milestones and grown together over the years. Both know how much the other earns and are aware of each other’s financial ventures.
Recently, Nancy left her job to start a business. While the business performed well in the beginning, it has since slowed down. The revenue is now insufficient to cover operational expenses, and Nancy is struggling to repay the cash-flow debt she incurred. She reaches out to Lina for help, asking for a loan of KES 100,000, promising to repay it in three monthly installments. Since Nancy knows Lina’s income, she believes Lina can easily afford to lend her the money.
However, Lina cannot actually afford to lend Nancy the full amount. Although she earns a good salary, she faces several competing demands on her income. In addition to her regular expenses, she recently placed a deposit on a piece of property she has been saving for. She also just learned that a close relative has been admitted to the hospital, and she has committed to help pay part of the medical bill. At the moment, her cash flow is tighter than usual. Still, Lina feels obligated to help Nancy and begins to weigh her options:
Option A: Give Nancy the full amount. This would leave her in a very tight financial position, considering her recent property purchase and the expected hospital expenses. But Nancy is her best friend, does she really have a choice?
Option B: Offer Nancy KES 45,000. This would allow Lina to remain financially stable while still supporting her friend. If Nancy is unable to repay the loan, Lina’s finances would still be secure.
Option C: Say “no.” This feels harsh, and Lina worries it might strain their friendship.
If you were in Lina’s position, how would you handle it? Would you stretch yourself financially to help a friend, offer what you can comfortably give, or choose to say no?
Each of you should give what you have decided in your heart to give, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver.
2 Corinthians 9:7 (NIV)